Love the One You're With


I was dropping my daughter off for her Tuesday 2s program at The Songyard when her teacher, Domenica, asked if I had cut my hair. My mane was tucked into my jacket and I briefly remembered those glorious years of sporting a short-do with its easy care routine. I told her no, that I was committed to my long locks for at least a little while, especially because my man enjoyed them so and hey, sometimes you have to please your man. She looked at me seriously and said, “As much as possible.” 

Those words have stuck with me since she said them and I consider them the wisdom of a woman who must take great care of her partner. My man is deeply committed to our familial crew as his days consist primarily of chasing babies and making sure mom has dinner when she comes home from dance class. He is the true homemaker of the family right now. Yet still there are moments when I come home from venturing out into the community that I see the to-do list - diapers, dishes, floors - before the reality in front of me - healthy children, an abundance of food, a little farm full of new life, and a partner who adores me. Someone should give me a swift kick in that twirling behind to remind me of the constant love and devotion this man puts into making our family whole.

I am the product of a generation of independent women, seen in my hyphenated name and the different-yet-still-hyphenated names of my children. I am grateful for the guidance of the many women in my life in play, work, love, life, dance, and parenthood. I have professional stay-at-home moms who I’m convinced make me a better parent by letting me befriend and watch them in action. I teach at a studio full of compassionate women who are curious about their craft and committed to kindness. I, personally, have parents who are the definition of unconditional love and yet still ask me to be my best self. 

All this independence is helpful in realizing what a gift it is to be dependent on someone as well. How exciting it has been growing up in the generation that wants it all. I’m coming to terms with the choices that I’m making to fill my life (it doesn’t look like I will actually be the Beyonce of Weathersfield this time around) and having a supportive partner allows me to hold onto a few more things that bring me joy and excitement in my life adventures. I’m smitten with the man who agrees to rock bedtime with the kids so that I can get my jazz dance on and who carries my bags out to the car so I can give those precious babes one more kiss. Yes Domenica, as much as possible. Let us please the people we love as much as possible.